April Showers Bring .....

… Lots of pretty flowers and anniversaries. It’s been a blustery April in north Georgia with lots of rain and wind. Today, however, is one of the most beautiful days of the year so far. April and May are two of my favorite months – springtime days before the heat of summer settles in here in Georgia.

I had the wonderful opportunity to speak at a ladies retreat with the April Showers Bring May Flowers theme.  I shared my testimony and stories from my book Born Three Times.  We talked about how the tough times in life (those April showers) make it possible to bloom like May flowers and bless other people in the process.

There are other things I like to celebrate in May besides the pretty weather. It will soon be seventeen years since I received my second chance at life when a healthy donor liver replaced the diseased liver in my body. It’s with mixed emotions I celebrate my life as I still reflect on the family who made the difficult decision to donate their loved ones liver in May of 1998.  April is National Donate Life Month to encourage people to register to be organ donors and to tell their families about their decision. Please consider checking that box on your driver’s license. Currently, nearly 124,000 men, women and children are awaiting organ transplants in the United States.

My blog anniversary is also in May. In 2012 I started my twice-monthly blog and can’t believe how quickly the months have flown by. This is my number 72 post. I’ve had 15,251 clicks to this date. People from countries all over the world have read what I have written. I want to keep on keeping on and am continually looking for new ideas. Your input is always appreciated.

Mother’s Day is fast approaching and it’s another reason to celebrate in May. My own mother has been gone for twenty-eight years and the older I get find myself imitating her in some of my ways. Being a mother to two adult sons and grandmother to five grandchildren continues to fill my life with challenges and blessings. As a step-mother to Charles’ two children and his grandchildren, my life has grown in ways I never imagined.

Celebrate those April showers and May flowers God has placed in your life and share those blessings with others.

“For behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.”
Song of Solomon 2:11-12

Home on the Range

Charles and I talked for weeks about taking a “Staycation.”  Spend less money, sleep in our own comfortable bed, ignore the phone, pray for no emergencies at work or with the kids, catch up on household tasks, eat out every night – sounded  “de-lite-full.”  I can’t believe we actually pulled it off.

We began our great adventure the week leading up to Easter. We each had a goal for the week—Charles was going to write more of his life story in preparation for his book. Frieda’s plan was to clean out her clothes closet, store winter clothes, and bring in the spring/summer clothes from storage. We didn’t want to spend all our time just relaxing, as tempting as that was.

By the end of the week, Charles actually produced 8,500 words for Frieda to edit into his manuscript. Frieda loaded up three big boxes of clothes to donate to the local homeless shelter. We ended up with our pickup truck full of odds and ends to donate. I felt ten pounds lighter when all that stuff was gone.

All work and no play was out of the question, so we took one day to visit Gibbs Gardens near Ball Ground, GA.  The Gibbs family has landscaped over 200 acres with beautiful trees, flowering shrubs, ponds, and bridges. Thousands of daffodils dotted the hillsides, and the pinkish Japanese maples were just starting to bloom. It was a beautiful 80 degree day-perfect for strolling on the garden paths midst clouds of yellow pollen unique to Georgia and its pine trees.

Picking a different restaurant every night was the frosting on the vacation cake. We decided to explore the USA via our food choices. We started out the week with Huey Lueys for a taste of south of the border foods similar to what we could find in Texas. Next we went to California Dreamin for some fresh vegetables and a taste of Los Angeles.  Our next stop was to Boston for Irish food at O’Charleys (use your imagination please), then to Chicago for Italian food from the local Parkside Grill. We concluded our week by eating Memphis BBQ at our BBQ Cutie, and finished our imaginative tour of the US by consuming Southern fried chicken and biscuits at the Whistle Stop.

I didn’t want the week to end, but Charles was ready to go back to the office. Doctor and dental appointments and a trip to see the tax man demanded our time and attention. Our week practicing retirement put a new spring in our step. Another staycation in the future is definitely on our  
“to do” list.

Out with the Old

Old winter clothes have to go.

It’s that glorious time of year in Georgia when warmer days prompt the trees to burst forth with color. I feel bad for my friends and family up north still stuck with below freezing temps and wrapped up in quilts and heavy sweaters. But I can’t wait to purge my closet of its drab clothes in favor of brighter ones. When I pack up my flannels, corduroys, heavy sweaters, and fleece I declare that winter is in its last gasp and will soon give way to the warmer days of spring and summer. I recently took two days and several trips up and down to the basement closet to make the swap. About the time I started the task, the thermometer took another plunge below freezing just to remind me who’s in charge.

Old eating habits have to go.

Climbing those stairs gave me some much needed exercise and made me realize how out of shape I am. Too many carbs and too many days piled in the recliner wrapped in a quilt have taken a toll on my body. Trying on some of last year’s clothes has been very painful. Well, let’s put in plainly—they don’t fit.  Ugh—I have to lose weight. It’s time to cut way back on the comfort food of winter and lighten up my diet with lots more fruit and veggies. It’s also time to take that daily walk to help burn some calories. How about a walk around the Mall instead looking at all the pretty new clothes?  The only problem is they won’t fit either.

Old ways of thinking have to go.

For the past few weeks our church has focused on the Sermon on the Mount during this Lenten season leading up to Easter. The words of Jesus in the book of Matthew have challenged my way of thinking. The eight Beatitudes or blessings in Matthew 5:1-10 tells the ways I am to live in relationship to God and to others. When I put into practice the challenge of the each Beatitude, I receive a blessing from the hand of God. The lesson of each Beatitude is not to focus on
self, but to focus on those around me. In our self-oriented, me-first society, it is indeed a new way of thinking. As you prepare for Easter Sunday and the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus, consider His words from the Sermon on the Mount.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Have a Blessed Easter.

Under the Microscope

When I agreed to be interviewed by my niece and her boyfriend—two first-year Mercer medical students—about my liver transplant, I didn't think it would be too challenging. In fact I was honored to have been chosen as a specimen for their research paper.

As we proceeded through the interview, I realized that the clinical questions would be few and that most of the questions revolved about feelings and perceptions. I really had to dig through my past and unearth emotions that I hadn't thought about in years. It was painful to remember how I felt not knowing if or when I would qualify for a donor liver and being fearful that I wouldn't survive the ordeal. I was asked how having a terminal disease affected my family life and how they reacted to that knowledge. Because in the early years of my disease I had two young sons, I had to be strong for them as well as myself. It was a time of wanting to be dependent on others, but because I was a widow for much of that time, realizing I only had myself and my relationship with God to sustain me. 

We also discussed the role and the work required of Charles, my second husband and caregiver. He married me knowing that I would need a transplant. After one year of marriage, I went into a rapid decline that led to me being placed on the national transplant list. He devoted much of his time and energy into transporting me back and forth to Emory Hospital for all the required testing and checkups. It seemed like he had to make that hour-long drive in Atlanta traffic at least once a week. We couldn't plan anything not knowing if and when a donor liver would be available. I never would have made it through the long ordeal without all this care and support.

Then the line of questioning moved into my post-transplant years. I explained how difficult it was to adjust to all the new drugs surging through my body, along with the lack of sleep that accompanied those drugs. I wanted to reclaim the years I had lost to disease, but some days I still struggled to put one foot in front of the other. Because I was immune suppressed I was always afraid of infection or that my body would reject my new liver.Those fears lessened over time as my lab reports showed that my body was adjusting very well to my donor liver.

From time to time I have some anxious thoughts about how long my borrowed liver will stay healthy. I often think about my donor family and the loss that they experienced.Then I remember how far God has brought me from that day in 1981 when I was told I had a terminal liver disease. He has never let me down and each day I choose to place my future in His loving and faithful hands. I just pray that I will faithfully serve Him with how ever many days I have left.

Happy To Be Writing

When I sit at my computer to write my blog, a short story, or book I completely lose track of time and am able to forget about everything else. I just thought it was my form of escapism. 

An internet article titled Writing Your Way to Happiness written by Tara Parker-Pope tells of recent scientific studies that show that engaging in creative writing has health benefits as well.

Parker-Pope writes:

“The scientific research on the benefits of so-called expressive writing is surprisingly vast. Studies have shown that writing about oneself and personal experiences can improve mood disorders, help reduce symptoms among cancer patients, improve a person’s health after a heart attack, reduce doctor visits and even boost memory.”

What is it about putting words down on paper that is a life game changer? Since I've been writing regularly for the past seven years, I decided to interview myself to see how writing has benefitted me. 

•   You started out by writing your memoir—what did you learn in the process?          “Perspective!  I learned that my life was like a puzzle with a lot of pieces scattered about.             By putting the pieces of the puzzle down on paper, events and circumstances started making     sense. I discovered that time has to pass in order for a true perspective to be gained.”

• How has writing made you a happier person?                                                                      “When I published my book, it opened doors for speaking so that I could share my life lessons   with others. There is also a sense of satisfaction that I am leaving my written words as a            legacy for future generations. Writing on my blog helps me stay connected to family and            friends and that always makes me happy.”

Since I am working with my husband, Charles to compile his memories for a future book, I decided to ask him the same questions.

     ·  What have you learned so far in the process of writing down your memories?

       “I’m finding out what molded my life and am discovering that God has been directing me all               along. I agree that my memory has been boosted as I am able to recall vivid detail about my                 life.”

     ·      Has writing your memories made you a happier person?

        “I’ve always been a happy, optimistic person. I don’t think writing has added to that except that            once my book is published, I hope it will benefit others with their life struggles. That will make          me happy.”

So if you are dealing with a problem or trying to put the past behind you, cozy up to a pad and pen or your mouse and laptop and let it all hang out. It can be much cheaper and less trouble than getting professional help.

PS.  I am so happy I was inspired to write this blog and get it posted before my self-imposed February 28 deadline.  J

Sacrificial Love

It’s Valentine’s Day—a time to share hearts, flowers, chocolates, and words about romantic love. Just like every other female, I like that stuff.  But the best gifts I ever received were not perishable like flowers and chocolates, but touched and changed my life in ways I never imagined. Three times when I was in desperate need, I received three amazing gifts of sacrificial love.

The word sacrificial is described in the dictionary as: “the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone.”

My first experience with sacrificial love occurred when I was 21 years old, and found myself struggling to make sense of my life and wanting hope for a better future. After searching in many places, I realized that God was offering me the free gift of his sacrificial love. He gave up all the glories of heaven and came to earth as Jesus to die on cross so that I could have eternal life. All I had to do was accept His life changing gift. I now have meaning and purpose each day that I never before imagined.

Sacrificial love came again into my life when I was in my early fifties and I was facing a bleak future because of terminal liver disease. For many years I had felt a sense of impending doom knowing that my life’s time clock was rapidly ticking down. I was widowed and an empty nester and at times felt very alone as I faced a very uncertain future and a scary liver transplant. No man in his right mind marries a woman with terminal liver disease, but that is exactly what happened to me. God sent Charles into my life at just the right time. We both risked it all not knowing how long we would have together and after almost nineteen years of marriage are convinced more than ever that we made the right decision.

Two years later I received the blessing of sacrificial love again when I was admitted to the hospital to wait for a liver transplant. A family of strangers in the midst of their grief and loss made a decision to donate their daughter’s organs. My transplanted liver enabled me to regain my health and have a second chance at life. The thank you letter I wrote anonymously to my donor family could not adequately express the overwhelming emotion of gratitude that I still feel even to this day. 

I am challenged every day to show sacrificial love to those around me, so that they too can pass it on to others. Those deeds will last long after February 14 has come and gone.

You can read the rest of my story in my memoir “Born Three Times–A New Life, A New Liver, A New Love.” 

Order it from Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Born-Three-Times-Life-Liver-ebook/dp/B00A3UBK9C/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1423938011&sr=1-1&keywords=Born+Three+Times

"Snow" Back Thursday

One of the most popular posts on Facebook is Throwback Thursday. People usually post photos taken in their younger years, which is a fun way of creating an online gallery of their lives. In honor of the Snow Blizzard that bore down on my home state of New York this week, I thought I thought I’d share some “snow” back memories from my years growing up in the Empire State. 

I spent the first six years of my life in a very small town (maybe 300 people) one mile from the Canadian border in upper New York State.  Winter was always a challenging time for my family, but as a kid I enjoyed it thoroughly. Even in the winter I loved to play with my cousins on my grandparents’ front porch. The snow dripping from the roof onto the porch overhang would refreeze at night and produce amazing stalactite and stalagmite icicles as big as six inches around and three or four feet long. We would break off a length of ice to hold in our mittens to suck on and sometimes to use as a sword. We totally ignored the taste of roof soot in our Popsicle.

The annual Sugar Social at the Methodist Church was a much anticipated event. In March when the maple sap was rising in the trees, it was collected in buckets, then boiled down to make thick syrup. Fresh snow was gathered in big metal pans and the syrup was poured on the snow instantly making maple syrup taffy—a delicious treat. 

I fought many battles from the snow forts I helped to construct. A mound of snowballs was stored for the inevitable snowball fight that would follow. It was mostly the boys against the girls and sometimes I was on the winning side.

I moved away from that rural lifestyle and eventually ended up in Georgia where snow is an exception and not the rule. One winter I returned to the place of my birth to visit my father who was very sick with cancer. The closest airport to my small town was several hours away, so my sister and I had to drive on icy roads to reach our destination. Snow drifts covered all the surrounding farmland as far as my eye could see. The full moon rose over the horizon and cast an ethereal glow on the snow laden fields. It was a beautiful sight and a much needed reminder of God’s beauty in the midst of human suffering.

Here’s hoping for snow this year in Georgia—enough to shut down the roads for a few days, but not enough to affect the power lines. The world will stop and peace and quiet will prevail until the temperature rises again. 

A Bible verse about snow:  Isaiah 55:10-11 "For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, And do not return there without watering the earth And making it bear and sprout, And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.”