Sister Act

Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of

our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.” – Susan Scarf Merrell

As the years go by and life gets busy, we don’t spend enough time with family members who live away. It takes extra effort to plan opportunities to get together especially since we’re all getting older and challenged by our abilities to drive long distances. Charles and I had been saying for some time we needed to see both our sisters this spring. 

Marion & Richard Simmons

Charles sister, Marion and her husband Richard Simmons, live in Baton Rouge, LA which is a long ten hour drive from where we live. So we asked them to meet us in the picturesque city of Fairhope, AL for the weekend. The beautiful weather enabled us to tour the shops and visit the Mobile Bay area of town. We enjoyed tea at the Grand Hotel in Point Clear and a delicious feast at the rustic Wash House Restaurant. The building is so old; you can’t imagine a fine restaurant being housed inside. But the inside atmosphere and food were very delightful. We spent a lot of time catching up on kids and grand kids and talking about the old days when Charles and Marion were young—more interesting stories for Charles’ book. 

We drove scenic 98E from Fairhope toward Pensacola, FL. Several signs along the way kept us entertained and gave me some new ideas for future writing efforts. I’m glad we’d already eaten lunch when we saw the Roadkill Café or we might have been tempted to check it out.  Next we passed the Blue Angel Baptist Church that gives dual recognition to the Christian’s eternal destination and the US Navy’s flying aerobatic squadron. 

Our next destination was Gulf Breeze to visit with my sister and her family.

Audrey & George Kimmel

Audrey Kimmel is my older sister and like me a recipient of a liver transplant. Our personalities and interests are similar so we’ve enjoyed a lot in common throughout our lives. I was the pest when we were younger when she dated her soon-to-be husband George. Charles and I stayed on Pensacola Beach so we could take advantage of the beautiful weather and the ocean waves.  Audrey came with us to sit on beach chairs under a big umbrella—a very enjoyable and relaxing experience. We enjoyed visiting with their children and grandchildren, and having a delicious dinner with Audrey and George at Jackson’s in Pensacola on our final vacation night.

Sisters are those special people in our lives who have known us the longest, know all about us, and love us anyway. So glad we could make some new memories with them.

As we headed home on I-65 in Alabama near Evergreen, we drove over Murder Creek.  My story making wheels have been churning ever since.

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

What’s your favorite way to travel? I like all modes of transportation that will take me to new and interesting places. We were too poor to travel much when I was a kid, so it’s still a real treat for me to go anywhere. However, I’ll take a pass on boats and ships since I get seasick. 

As a teenager I yearned to ride in a luxury convertible like I saw advertised on TV and in the slick magazine pages. I wanted to hit the road and feel the wind in my hair and the bugs in my teeth. When I found out that one of the engineers in our office had purchased a classic vintage 1966 black Corvette convertible, I started to drool and drop hints. “You know I was a teenager in the 60’s and I didn’t know anybody back then who had such a fancy car.” On another occasion I took a more direct approach “Riding in a Corvette convertible is on my bucket list.” 

Finally, our co-worker Larry Hill said, “It’s going to be beautiful Saturday. Do you want to take a ride?” I looked at Charles with hopeful eyes as he said, “Go for it.” 

We cruised through downtown Acworth with its antique shops and historic buildings. I waved at the gals at Glitzy Chicks and felt sixteen again. Finally we arrived at Sonic for car hop service—vintage 1966. A beautiful day, a beautiful car, and a smooth way to travel.

The next Saturday Charles and I went to the Salute to America Air Show at the Silver Comet Airport in Paulding County. Charles checked out the Corsair he worked on when he was in the Navy and admired the C-130 cargo plane on display. Charles’ Finlet invention was tested on a similar C-130 with good success. Now we are waiting for the government to decide to buy them. It’s a good thing we’re not holding our breath.

Have you seen the Famous Idaho Potato Truck?  Well, we found it at the air show and it did not have wings. Here’s granddaughter Alexa with me in front of the Giant Spud.

So where’s the train—at the Whistle Stop Café where we dined on fried chicken and biscuits. The train made famous by the movie, The Great Locomotive Chase, is housed nearby in Kennesaw, GA and is featured at the Café. A small scale version of the famous Civil War train travels through the restaurant on an overhead suspension track blowing its horn as it goes. That’s us standing in front of a painting of The General with the moving train in the background.  

I didn’t go farther than thirty miles to enjoy planes, trains, and automobiles, but it was still quite a ride. Where are you going on your next road trip?

April Showers Bring .....

… Lots of pretty flowers and anniversaries. It’s been a blustery April in north Georgia with lots of rain and wind. Today, however, is one of the most beautiful days of the year so far. April and May are two of my favorite months – springtime days before the heat of summer settles in here in Georgia.

I had the wonderful opportunity to speak at a ladies retreat with the April Showers Bring May Flowers theme.  I shared my testimony and stories from my book Born Three Times.  We talked about how the tough times in life (those April showers) make it possible to bloom like May flowers and bless other people in the process.

There are other things I like to celebrate in May besides the pretty weather. It will soon be seventeen years since I received my second chance at life when a healthy donor liver replaced the diseased liver in my body. It’s with mixed emotions I celebrate my life as I still reflect on the family who made the difficult decision to donate their loved ones liver in May of 1998.  April is National Donate Life Month to encourage people to register to be organ donors and to tell their families about their decision. Please consider checking that box on your driver’s license. Currently, nearly 124,000 men, women and children are awaiting organ transplants in the United States.

My blog anniversary is also in May. In 2012 I started my twice-monthly blog and can’t believe how quickly the months have flown by. This is my number 72 post. I’ve had 15,251 clicks to this date. People from countries all over the world have read what I have written. I want to keep on keeping on and am continually looking for new ideas. Your input is always appreciated.

Mother’s Day is fast approaching and it’s another reason to celebrate in May. My own mother has been gone for twenty-eight years and the older I get find myself imitating her in some of my ways. Being a mother to two adult sons and grandmother to five grandchildren continues to fill my life with challenges and blessings. As a step-mother to Charles’ two children and his grandchildren, my life has grown in ways I never imagined.

Celebrate those April showers and May flowers God has placed in your life and share those blessings with others.

“For behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.”
Song of Solomon 2:11-12

Home on the Range

Charles and I talked for weeks about taking a “Staycation.”  Spend less money, sleep in our own comfortable bed, ignore the phone, pray for no emergencies at work or with the kids, catch up on household tasks, eat out every night – sounded  “de-lite-full.”  I can’t believe we actually pulled it off.

We began our great adventure the week leading up to Easter. We each had a goal for the week—Charles was going to write more of his life story in preparation for his book. Frieda’s plan was to clean out her clothes closet, store winter clothes, and bring in the spring/summer clothes from storage. We didn’t want to spend all our time just relaxing, as tempting as that was.

By the end of the week, Charles actually produced 8,500 words for Frieda to edit into his manuscript. Frieda loaded up three big boxes of clothes to donate to the local homeless shelter. We ended up with our pickup truck full of odds and ends to donate. I felt ten pounds lighter when all that stuff was gone.

All work and no play was out of the question, so we took one day to visit Gibbs Gardens near Ball Ground, GA.  The Gibbs family has landscaped over 200 acres with beautiful trees, flowering shrubs, ponds, and bridges. Thousands of daffodils dotted the hillsides, and the pinkish Japanese maples were just starting to bloom. It was a beautiful 80 degree day-perfect for strolling on the garden paths midst clouds of yellow pollen unique to Georgia and its pine trees.

Picking a different restaurant every night was the frosting on the vacation cake. We decided to explore the USA via our food choices. We started out the week with Huey Lueys for a taste of south of the border foods similar to what we could find in Texas. Next we went to California Dreamin for some fresh vegetables and a taste of Los Angeles.  Our next stop was to Boston for Irish food at O’Charleys (use your imagination please), then to Chicago for Italian food from the local Parkside Grill. We concluded our week by eating Memphis BBQ at our BBQ Cutie, and finished our imaginative tour of the US by consuming Southern fried chicken and biscuits at the Whistle Stop.

I didn’t want the week to end, but Charles was ready to go back to the office. Doctor and dental appointments and a trip to see the tax man demanded our time and attention. Our week practicing retirement put a new spring in our step. Another staycation in the future is definitely on our  
“to do” list.

Out with the Old

Old winter clothes have to go.

It’s that glorious time of year in Georgia when warmer days prompt the trees to burst forth with color. I feel bad for my friends and family up north still stuck with below freezing temps and wrapped up in quilts and heavy sweaters. But I can’t wait to purge my closet of its drab clothes in favor of brighter ones. When I pack up my flannels, corduroys, heavy sweaters, and fleece I declare that winter is in its last gasp and will soon give way to the warmer days of spring and summer. I recently took two days and several trips up and down to the basement closet to make the swap. About the time I started the task, the thermometer took another plunge below freezing just to remind me who’s in charge.

Old eating habits have to go.

Climbing those stairs gave me some much needed exercise and made me realize how out of shape I am. Too many carbs and too many days piled in the recliner wrapped in a quilt have taken a toll on my body. Trying on some of last year’s clothes has been very painful. Well, let’s put in plainly—they don’t fit.  Ugh—I have to lose weight. It’s time to cut way back on the comfort food of winter and lighten up my diet with lots more fruit and veggies. It’s also time to take that daily walk to help burn some calories. How about a walk around the Mall instead looking at all the pretty new clothes?  The only problem is they won’t fit either.

Old ways of thinking have to go.

For the past few weeks our church has focused on the Sermon on the Mount during this Lenten season leading up to Easter. The words of Jesus in the book of Matthew have challenged my way of thinking. The eight Beatitudes or blessings in Matthew 5:1-10 tells the ways I am to live in relationship to God and to others. When I put into practice the challenge of the each Beatitude, I receive a blessing from the hand of God. The lesson of each Beatitude is not to focus on
self, but to focus on those around me. In our self-oriented, me-first society, it is indeed a new way of thinking. As you prepare for Easter Sunday and the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus, consider His words from the Sermon on the Mount.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Have a Blessed Easter.

Under the Microscope

When I agreed to be interviewed by my niece and her boyfriend—two first-year Mercer medical students—about my liver transplant, I didn't think it would be too challenging. In fact I was honored to have been chosen as a specimen for their research paper.

As we proceeded through the interview, I realized that the clinical questions would be few and that most of the questions revolved about feelings and perceptions. I really had to dig through my past and unearth emotions that I hadn't thought about in years. It was painful to remember how I felt not knowing if or when I would qualify for a donor liver and being fearful that I wouldn't survive the ordeal. I was asked how having a terminal disease affected my family life and how they reacted to that knowledge. Because in the early years of my disease I had two young sons, I had to be strong for them as well as myself. It was a time of wanting to be dependent on others, but because I was a widow for much of that time, realizing I only had myself and my relationship with God to sustain me. 

We also discussed the role and the work required of Charles, my second husband and caregiver. He married me knowing that I would need a transplant. After one year of marriage, I went into a rapid decline that led to me being placed on the national transplant list. He devoted much of his time and energy into transporting me back and forth to Emory Hospital for all the required testing and checkups. It seemed like he had to make that hour-long drive in Atlanta traffic at least once a week. We couldn't plan anything not knowing if and when a donor liver would be available. I never would have made it through the long ordeal without all this care and support.

Then the line of questioning moved into my post-transplant years. I explained how difficult it was to adjust to all the new drugs surging through my body, along with the lack of sleep that accompanied those drugs. I wanted to reclaim the years I had lost to disease, but some days I still struggled to put one foot in front of the other. Because I was immune suppressed I was always afraid of infection or that my body would reject my new liver.Those fears lessened over time as my lab reports showed that my body was adjusting very well to my donor liver.

From time to time I have some anxious thoughts about how long my borrowed liver will stay healthy. I often think about my donor family and the loss that they experienced.Then I remember how far God has brought me from that day in 1981 when I was told I had a terminal liver disease. He has never let me down and each day I choose to place my future in His loving and faithful hands. I just pray that I will faithfully serve Him with how ever many days I have left.

Happy To Be Writing

When I sit at my computer to write my blog, a short story, or book I completely lose track of time and am able to forget about everything else. I just thought it was my form of escapism. 

An internet article titled Writing Your Way to Happiness written by Tara Parker-Pope tells of recent scientific studies that show that engaging in creative writing has health benefits as well.

Parker-Pope writes:

“The scientific research on the benefits of so-called expressive writing is surprisingly vast. Studies have shown that writing about oneself and personal experiences can improve mood disorders, help reduce symptoms among cancer patients, improve a person’s health after a heart attack, reduce doctor visits and even boost memory.”

What is it about putting words down on paper that is a life game changer? Since I've been writing regularly for the past seven years, I decided to interview myself to see how writing has benefitted me. 

•   You started out by writing your memoir—what did you learn in the process?          “Perspective!  I learned that my life was like a puzzle with a lot of pieces scattered about.             By putting the pieces of the puzzle down on paper, events and circumstances started making     sense. I discovered that time has to pass in order for a true perspective to be gained.”

• How has writing made you a happier person?                                                                      “When I published my book, it opened doors for speaking so that I could share my life lessons   with others. There is also a sense of satisfaction that I am leaving my written words as a            legacy for future generations. Writing on my blog helps me stay connected to family and            friends and that always makes me happy.”

Since I am working with my husband, Charles to compile his memories for a future book, I decided to ask him the same questions.

     ·  What have you learned so far in the process of writing down your memories?

       “I’m finding out what molded my life and am discovering that God has been directing me all               along. I agree that my memory has been boosted as I am able to recall vivid detail about my                 life.”

     ·      Has writing your memories made you a happier person?

        “I’ve always been a happy, optimistic person. I don’t think writing has added to that except that            once my book is published, I hope it will benefit others with their life struggles. That will make          me happy.”

So if you are dealing with a problem or trying to put the past behind you, cozy up to a pad and pen or your mouse and laptop and let it all hang out. It can be much cheaper and less trouble than getting professional help.

PS.  I am so happy I was inspired to write this blog and get it posted before my self-imposed February 28 deadline.  J