Old People's Music

The sounds of Frank Sinatra

I like the music sounds of previous decades—50’s, 60’s 70’s along with some more recent music too. The songs that used to croon about June, moon, and spoon and were accompanied by instruments were my favorites. When I finally figured out how to RIP my music to my computer, transfer the sings to my Kindle Fire HDX, and play them on my Bose Bluetooth speaker, I felt like I had arrived. I could listen to all my old favorites anyplace, anytime, anyhow.

Shirley and me ready for the
 Josh Groban concert

My granddaughter was helping clean up the kitchen after a recent meal I had cooked for my son and his children. We were having a real bonding time over the kitchen sink. Afterward I suggested we  sit down to watch a bit of TV. When I turned it on, the Public Broadcasting Channel came up with one of their quarterly fundraising events featuring a well-known singer of the past. Just as I was relaxing, my granddaughter jumped up and announced, “Grammy, that’s old people’s music,” and she flounced out of the room.

Oh my, I guess she was right. It didn’t impress her one bit that I know how to play my favorites on all the latest gadgets. And she probably wouldn’t be impressed if I told her about the wonderful time Charles and I had attending the Barry Manilow concert on our anniversary. Somehow she just couldn’t imagine her grandparents swinging and swaying to his music. Do I dare mention to her that a friend and I recently attended a Josh Groban concert and listened to his beautiful baritone voice sing Broadway hits from yesteryear?  

Charles and I recently watched another PBS program featuring Johnny Mathis along with the announcement of his upcoming concert in Atlanta in January. I looked at Charles and laughed, “More old people’s music.” He said,” If can still sing like that at his age, we need to get tickets.” Now to complete my concert bucket list for the year, I need to hear Michael Buble` sing all the oldies but goodies in the swing style of today. It just proves that what goes around comes around. 

When I’m alone and have some unpleasant household task to perform, I turn on my Kindle and speaker full blast and am transported to another place and time. Old People’s Music helps me feel young again.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Who doesn’t want to live a satisfying life?  Humans are complex and travel many different paths in life, but everyone is looking for meaning and purpose. We spend most of our time pursuing those things that make us happy. After all we’re Americans and isn’t that what Americans do? The Declaration of Independence gives full support to our desire to be happy.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the                                    pursuit of Happiness.

 I found two internet articles on the subject of long-term happiness and the sense of well-being, which represent two sides of the same coin. The first article from the August 12, 2015 edition of The Week Magazine is entitled The Key to Sustained Happiness is Religion.  Researchers at the London School of Economics and Erasmus University Medical Center in the Netherlands studied various social activities that people chose to pursue.  They also looked at organizations that people join. Politics, Community Involvement, Charities, Education, and Religion were the areas that received the greatest scrutiny.

http://theweek.com/speedreads/571509/study-key-sustained-happiness-religion

The researchers discovered that every area they studied except religion led to decreased happiness over time. Only participation in a religious organization boosted happiness in the long run. The researchers said that they were puzzled by their discovery. 

The second article written by Scott Barry Kaufman on August 2, 2015 on the Scientific American Blog asks What Character Strengths are Most Predictive of Well-Being?  517 people ranging in age from 18-71 were studied to determine their positive strengths. The goal was to use this information in psychology to not just treat mental illness but to encourage people to focus on those positive strengths. Google:  Scientific American Well Being for article.

The characteristics that rose to the top in people who experienced well-being were: Gratitude, Love, Honesty, and Hope. I see a strong connection between participation in a religious organization and those characteristics. Believing in God and studying His Word with a group of like-minded believers will make us more thankful and honest. Stretching our faith muscles will develop a mindset of love and hope. 

Jesus also talked about a full and satisfying life as recorded in the Bible in John 10:10.

I am come that they might have life,

and that they might have it more abundantly.

Pursue happiness and a sense of well-being by investing your life in serving God and serving others. And I would love to hear from you. 

What makes you happy? 

Life Without Regrets

Feeling sad or disappointed over a missed opportunity is not something any of us enjoy. We like to think we are “take charge” people who live life to the fullest. 

In the past month Charles and I have attended memorial services for two men who devoted their lives to church planting and spreading the Gospel. They lived their lives fulfilling the mission that God had given them. Their funerals were more like joyful celebrations.

Hospice nurse, Bronnie Ware is the author of the best-selling memoir, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.  I recently saw a post from her on Facebook entitled The Top Five Regrets People Express on Their Deathbeds. She writes,

“For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home

to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to

         twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.”

Here are the five regrets she observed and paraphrased by me.

#5 – I wish I’d let myself be happier by embracing the moment and not being afraid of change.

#4 – I wish I had nurtured and maintained my relationships and not given in to the time thief that kept me from doing important things with family and friends.

#3 – I wish I had had the courage to express my feelings. I spent too much time stuffing my feelings and not speaking honestly.

#2 – I wish I had simplified my life and hadn’t worked so hard amassing possessions.

#1 – I wish I had lived a life true to myself and done more to fulfill my dreams.

When we lose our health, doing these five things is much more difficult if not impossible. I remember when I was so sick with liver disease and facing a transplant, all my energy went into surviving each day. I did have regrets and unfulfilled dreams (such as writing) and have been so thankful for a second chance to see my dreams come true.

I will add one more to the list above—one that we can do something about even when we are at the end of our life. When people are on their death beds, their minds turn to where they will spend eternity. If they are not sure of their relationship with God, that can cause a lot of anxiety and regrets. The good news is that it is never too late to find a right relationship with God. He is always waiting for us to come to Him, accept Jesus as our Savior, seek forgiveness for our sins, and experience His grace. That simple act of faith will provide the peace, joy, and love that comforts and grants life without regrets. 

Georgia On My Mind

Fifty-four years ago this month I left my relatively sheltered life on the banks of Lake Ontario from the small town of Webster, New York to begin a new life in Atlanta, Georgia. It was quite a transition from being surrounded by the red maple trees and rural life in western New York to the tall pine trees and red dirt of north Georgia. At that time, Atlanta was just an up and coming city trying to make a name for itself.

My oldest sister, Jan, and her husband, Curt, lived here and it was at their invitation that I made the big move. My high school diploma was still wet and I needed a place to go to get some advanced education.  My high school goal was to attend a small campus of the New York State University system and major in education and international studies. My family’s finances could not make that dream a reality, so I flew to Georgia to attend a much more reasonably priced Executive Secretarial program that would train me to enter the workforce sooner rather than later.

It was at times a difficult adjustment due to the different cultures. The Old South was still very much a reality in the early Sixties and as a Yankee my accent and interests stood out like a sore thumb. I think everyone assumed that when I got my training that I would return to New York to look for a job. A funny thing happened on the way to graduation.  I decided I liked the Southern lifestyle and especially the weather—no blistering cold and lake effect snows for five months every year.

So many good things have happened to me since I left my comfort zone and embarked on a new way of life. Interesting jobs, marriage, children, a spiritual renewal, more education, a second marriage, a liver transplant, and good health in my later years to enjoy all that God has provided.

I have been blessed with Southern girlfriends who at times tease me about my Yankee roots. When I moved here I was 100% Yankee. But now based on the number of years I’ve lived here, I am 25% Yankee and 75% Southern. 

My memoir, Born Three Times—A New Life, A New, A New Love, fills in the blanks and tells the rest of my story. It tells the story of God’s amazing gift of second chances and provides inspiration for those who are going through difficult times. I would like to reach more people with the message of my book. You can help by clicking below on my Frieda Dixon, Author Facebook Page. After you open my page, be sure to click LIKE. My goal is 100 LIKES which will help me become more visible on Facebook. Thanks for your help and support of my blog.

https://www.facebook.com/FriedaDixonAuthor

Look and Feel Younger

Let’s face it, we are all growing older. We may kick and scream, but we can’t stop the process, and I am not ready quite yet for the alternative. Online articles abound with advice on how to age gracefully. Recent ones include: Remove your Eye Bags Instantly, This Trick Erases Teeth Stains, 68 Year Old Grandma Outsmarts Botox, and The Secrets to Aging Gracefully. I usually read them because I just might learn something. The one bit of advice that appears in all articles has to do with exercise. I also get unsolicited urging from my late bloomer mate who exercises in some form or fashion almost every day. He is on a three mile hike in hot weather as I write this.

Until two years ago, I participated in deep water aquatics at the YMCA. I decided to give up swimming because I was getting too many colds and infections. Then my excuse became something like this quote from an unknown author.

 "I tried exercise but found I was allergic to it - my skin flushed, my heart raced,

I got sweaty, short of breath. Very, very dangerous."

Then I read Fifteen Ways Exercise Helps You Look and Feel Younger. Who doesn’t want to relieve stress, reduce belly fat, have better sleep, and be more flexible? After checking out the options for an exercise program in my area, I finally decided to join two fitness classes at our local senior center. It was time to get out of my comfy chair and take to heart a doctor’s admonition to his patient, 

“I’m afraid pulling the handle on your recliner doesn’t count as exercise.” 

I was surprised to discover that I could get a pretty strenuous workout by using a straight chair for support while I use weights and a resistance band to stretch my legs, arms, and torso. My second class is a gentle Yoga class that helps with balance and relaxation. I can do this without injuring myself and get myself in better shape in the process.

God placed me in this body to accomplish His purposes while I am still here. I can’t do that if I am too sluggish to move and am unmotivated and lazy. I want to be able to say like the apostle Paul did in 2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

Too Close to Home

The search for the two convicted murderers who escaped from the Clinton Correctional Facility in upstate New York is very close to my hometown of Burke, New York.  I still have cousins in that area and a lot of memories of going to Owls Head, New York where the latest search is taking place. Some of my relatives had a camp on a lake near Owls Head and I spent a lot of time enjoying summer vacations there. 

Prison is in the middle county at the top of NY State.

The scene of the latest search is only 17.5 miles from where I grew up and very close to a border check point that leads into Canada. When I was young our family could have walked a mile to the Canadian border and crossed over without being stopped. The border is much more secure today.

My father spent much of his spare time roaming the woods and the hills where the police are now searching. He was a member of a hunting club like the one where the escapees’ DNA was found.

Upstate New York, especially those counties closest to the Canadian border, has a very large prison population. That area of the state is very sparsely populated and rugged, with forests and thick underbrush, and small towns scattered across the Adirondack Mountain region. The prisons are considered an economic lifesaver for a region that has few jobs and opportunities. The population of a county with a prison grows by approximately 30%—counting the inmates, prison staff, and families of inmates who move to the area. An increase in the prison population grows the county census and increases the amount of grants and representation at the State Capitol in Albany, New York. So unless there is a rare prison break, it is a win-win for the locals. This year I suspect a lot of locals are staying away from their summer camps on remote lakes until the escapees are caught. 

Upstate New York is anything but peaceful and quiet these days. I’m praying that the police soon apprehend the convicts so that my family and other folks in that region can enjoy the little bit of summer they get for two months every year.

19 Years & Counting

I’ve been waiting a long time to write this blog—nineteen years to be exact. Today my late bloomer husband and I celebrate our 19^th wedding anniversary. Almost to the exact hour 19 years ago we said our “I dos.”

It was the second marriage for both of us, and with my terminal illness, neither of us knew how many years of wedded bliss we would have. Charles reminds me that “love is deaf, dumb, and blind.”  In spite of the obstacles we both believed that God brought us together and so we chose to trust Him with our future. 

To celebrate we attended the Barry Manilow “One Last Time” concert last week. What a show and what a showman. He sang everything from his forty year music library. I have to admit that I expected his voice to not be as strong as it used to be.  Boy was I wrong; he hit all the right notes and never missed a beat.  He definitely “writes the songs that make the whole world sing.”

The next day we took time to smell the roses at Gibbs Gardens in Ball Ground, GA.  One thousand red and white knock out rose bushes were still at their peak. Their fragrance filled the air as we walked along the winding paths. It reminded me of June 1998 when we went to another garden five weeks after my liver transplant. With my limited stamina, I made the effort to walk a few hundred feet and sit on a bench. We were both determined to get out of the house and do something for our anniversary. I am blessed today to live a very normal life today.

A few months ago, our nine year old granddaughter, Belle, drew this picture of Charles and me for Grandparents’ Day. She copied it from a family photograph. I guess this is what anniversaries are all about. 

  

The Bible offers words of wisdom on how to keep a marriage strong in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;  it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.”

During our marriage ceremony, we played the song; “Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be. God bless our love.” Those words still ring true today.